Something happens as December progresses.
It's not always noticeable on the first day.
It's not always possible to explain with words.
But the body knows.
Fatigue weighs more.
Emotions are more heightened.
The little things cost twice as much.
And, even though everyone talks about closures, evaluations, and new beginnings…
there's a part of you that just wants the noise to stop.
If you are neurodivergent, this is not a coincidence.
And it is not weakness.
It is the nervous system.
This article does not come to tell you what you should do to "end the year well".
Go sit with yourself.
To lower the volume.
And to remind yourself that arriving this way also counts.
The end of the year is not neutral for the nervous system.
The end of the year is not just a date on the calendar.
It is a transition loaded with meaning.
And transitions —even if they are symbolic— activate the nervous system.
In a few weeks, the following accumulate:
- routine changes,
- more social gatherings,
- noise, lights, commitments,
- questions that require evaluation (“how is your year going?”),
- pressure to decide (“what will you do next?”).
For many neurodivergent nervous systems, all of this does not add up:
it overlaps.
And when there is no time to integrate, the body goes into alert.
“Transitions increase cognitive and emotional load, especially in nervous systems sensitive to uncertainty.”
— APA, stress and adaptation
When the calendar moves faster than the body
Many neurodivergent individuals do not experience time as a straight line.
We experience it as waves.
There are moments of high energy…
and others of deep exhaustion.
Moments of clarity…
and others of pure survival.
The problem arises when the calendar demands closure, but the body is still processing.
Here stress appears.
Not because we do not know how to organize ourselves, but because our nervous system does not operate in quarters.
It operates on accumulated load.
“Stress arises when the demands of the environment exceed the organism's regulatory capacity.”
— Lazarus & Folkman
The end-of-year balance can also hurt
There are questions that seem innocent, but they are not:
— What have you achieved this year?
— What are you proud of?
— What do you want to change next?
For many neurodivergent individuals, these questions trigger guilt, sadness, or blockage.
Because perhaps this year:
- you survived,
- you regulated yourself as best as you could,
- you crossed invisible things,
- you spent enormous energy just to hold yourself up.
And that often does not show up in the balances.
“Emotional invalidation increases the stress response and the feeling of internal failure.”
— Marsha Linehan
Stress is not fragility: it is saturation
Saying this is important:
If you are more irritable, more tired, more sensitive… it’s not that you “can’t handle everything.”
It’s that you have handled too much for too long.
This is called allostatic load, quite a mouthful, huh, let me explain:
the accumulated wear of the nervous system after months (or years) of constant adaptation.
“Allostatic load explains why collapse often occurs when it seems that the worst has already passed.”
— McEwen
Gentle ideas to accompany you at this year's end
(choose one, or none)
They are not rules.
They are not duties.
They are possibilities.
1. Do not close if you cannot close
Not everything needs a conclusion.
Some things just need to rest.
2. Reduce stimuli before demands
Less noise.
Fewer plans.
Fewer explanations.
Regulation starts with the environment.
3. Change the balance for a kinder question
Instead of “what have I achieved?”, try:
what has supported me this year? What has helped me? Who has accompanied me with love and respect?
4. Allow yourself small rituals, not big celebrations
A warm light.
A hot drink.
A shared silence.
A walk in the woods alone.
This is also closing.
5. Do not plan from exhaustion
If today you do not know what you want for next year,
the only honest thing may be to not decide yet.
Moreover, for me, it makes much more sense to try to close the year in December, and then evaluate what to do next during January.
“Self-regulation begins when we stop demanding from the body what it cannot give.”
— Stephen Porges
Maybe you don't need to start over
Maybe you need to arrive.
Arriving tired.
Arriving incomplete.
Arriving without answers.
And that's okay.
The year is not measured by productivity.
It is measured by how much you were able to take care of yourself, even when you didn't know how.
To start closing (and be able to begin)…
This article is not a guide.
It is a permission.
Permission to:
- not celebrate as expected,
- not take stock,
- not have forced last-minute resolutions,
- not be okay and perfect all the time.
If it resonates with you, you can stay here for a while. I read you in comments
Or share it with someone who needs it.
Here we don't end the years “improving”.
We end them alive.
Verònica Martín
Co-Founder of ATÍPICS.org
Neurodivergent. Human.