Vanessa, for those who do not know you yet, how would you introduce yourself? What led you to start sharing about giftedness and twice-exceptionality on social media?
First of all, thank you for this space and greetings to those who are reading us.
My name is Vanessa Amat, I am a publicist, communicator, and teacher, an expert in giftedness and talent development. But above all, I am the mother of two girls with giftedness, one of whom also has twice-exceptionality.
I consider myself an entrepreneurial woman. In fact, nine years ago I ventured into the world of online marketing, and this year I decided to open a space on social media to talk about giftedness and autism. What started as a way to share reflections and experiences turned into a beautiful community: this is how Hirameki AACC was born, where we are now over 30,000 people.
Today, in addition to sharing about raising neurodivergent children, I support families with gifted children or adolescents., I offer training to educators and soon I will start a very special project for me: an enrichment extracurricular program for children with AACC in Castellón.
What are children with AACC really like? What characteristics or needs do you think are still not well understood from the outside?
If I had to choose a single word, it would undoubtedly be “intensity.” And I’m sure many families living with these children would agree with me. This intensity can be wonderful because they are children who get excited easily, who have a great thirst for knowledge, who ask a lot of questions, who surprise us daily with fabulous ideas, but sometimes this intensity is not so extraordinary.
Often, these children are still associated with the image of the bright, calm, attentive student, excellent in all areas and subjects, and consequently without specific educational needs. However, the reality is much more diverse and complex. Not all children with high abilities fit this mold; in fact, many completely break it.
It is important to understand that these children experience the world from a different place. They think differently, they feel differently, and it is from there that they inhabit it. It is neither better nor worse: it is another way of being in the world. And accompanying them means looking beyond what is visible at first glance.
In some cases, the educational center only talks about "their behavior." But this is just the tip of the iceberg. What often lies beneath are intense emotions,masking,a constant need for meaning, difficulty in self-regulating... and, very often, a high sensory sensitivity that is rarely taken into account.
The sensory aspect is, in fact, one of the great oversights. Noises, lights, textures, smells... everything is experienced with greater intensity. This can lead to saturation, rejection, anxiety, or even blockages, and is often misinterpreted as "mania" or "bad behavior."
Another little-understood aspect is asynchrony: children who have extremely high verbal, cognitive, or intellectual maturity, but emotional regulation or social skills that do not progress at the same pace. This lack of internal synchrony can generate frustration for both them and their environment, if it is not understood. But as I say, living with 3 different ages is not easy.
When they are offered an environment that understands this complexity and does not demand that they adapt forcefully, they thrive. But if only their behavior is pointed out or they are required to adapt without understanding, they shut down. That is why it is so important to change the perspective towards AACC.
There is a concept that is sometimes overlooked and is key, executive functions, and I know from experience that they can change everything. I would love for you to explain to us why it is so important for families and
educators to understand this concept in the context of high
abilities and double exceptionality.
Executive functions are like the command center of the brain. They are a set of processes that allow us to organize, plan, make decisions, initiate tasks, regulate emotions, adapt to changes, or maintain attention.
In the case of children with high abilities, it is often mistakenly assumed that, because they have great potential, they also have a great mastery of these skills. But that is not always the case.
When we talk about profiles of double exceptionality, high abilities, and autism, they may have brilliant ideas but get stuck when starting. They can reason with incredible depth but get lost in simple instructions.
They can be very aware of their own difficulties, which generates even more frustration.
Difficulties in executive functions can manifest as cognitive rigidity, frequent forgetfulness, difficulty initiating tasks, a need for very clear routines, resistance to change, emotional dysregulation, or planning problems. And all of this can coexist with high cognitive or intellectual potential.
That is where the mismatch often occurs: it is expected that they respond as "little brilliant adults," but their internal functioning has different rhythms and needs.
Understanding this allows us to stop seeing it as a "lack of effort" and start providing the supports they need. From school, from home, and from any environment that surrounds them.
Because it is not that "they do not want”.
Sometimesthey cannot… yet.
And if we give them the space, time, and understanding they need, this potential that often gets stuck begins to unfold.
Living with two realities, the co-occurrence of AACC and autism, can make expressing this potential difficult, or in some cases, cause it to go undetected, even leading intelligence tests to not accurately reflect what is truly there.
Raising girls with AACC and double exceptionality presents unique challenges. What have been the greatest learnings —personal and familial— on this journey?
For me personally, one of the greatest challenges has been letting go of expectations. Neither motherhood nor raising neurodivergent resembles what I imagined before becoming a mother.
From a very young age, my first daughter taught me what high demand was. She broke all my schemas and placed me in a completely new position: that of observing, learning, and continuously adapting.
I have also learned to communicate in a different way, to make space for their timing, to regulate myself in order to support their intensity... and, above all, not to interpret this intensity as a "problem." I have had to learn to see beyond the labels. To look at the whole person, with their abilities and challenges, and to accompany them from there. Not from what I would like at a given moment, but from what they need.
Another great lesson has been to understand what is good for them and what is not. Which environments favor them, which stimuli overwhelm them, what rhythms they need to feel secure. And from there, to adjust. Not so that the world becomes perfect, but so that, at least at home, and in what depends on us, they can feel cared for and respected.
Putting them at the center. Not as an ideal, but as a real and conscious way of caring.
And doing it, many times, without a clear map, but with a lot of presence.
Moreover, I have learned that the looks or the "what will they think" do not matter to me as much. And along the way, I have come to recognize myself... Because on many occasions I have seen myself reflected in them and that is not always easy.
You mentioned in a post something that is not often named but we both know happens more than we would like, the loss of friendships while raising neurodivergent children. What drives you to share these less visible aspects? How does your community react?
I share it because I know how difficult it is to feel alone while raising from difference.
In my case, moreover, I was the first of my friends to become a mother, and that already places you in a somewhat isolated position. But if you add to that a demanding, intense, different upbringing... there comes a moment when you even doubt yourself: Am I exaggerating?
And then you realize that you are not.
When identification arrives, many times you look back... and start to understand things since you were a baby.
And this process, although it gives you answers, also stirs a lot.
Neurodivergent parenting DNT⟪ often involves losing bonds that were once secure. You feel judged, misunderstood. And not only by friends, but sometimes also by close environments, even family.
But the beautiful thing is that, over time, new wonderful people arrive.
Now, at Hirameki, I am not the only one who supports other families. They also support me. And that is true community.
Talking about all this, and many other difficult topics, is a way for me to heal. It gives me relief. Since I was little, I have loved writing. It is a way to regulate myself, to express what I do not always know how to say out loud. Many of my posts are born this way: for and for myself.
And then messages come like "thank you, it happened to me too, I thought I was the only one."
That is when I realize that sharing what is not always said, that is also creating community.
And from this, Hirameki AACC is born: from the need to accompany each other even in what is invisible.
You are launching an enrichment extracurricular in Castellón for children with AACC between 5 and 10 years old. What is an enrichment space?
Indeed, Awakened Minds is a project that makes me very excited. I feel it almost like a third child, and I have been dreaming for weeks that it is underway. I have already met with the first families, started to get to know some little ones… and I am very eager to embark.
Let me tell you, an enrichment space is an environment designed to explore and enjoy learning from one's own interests. It is a place where children with high abilities can connect with others who also think, feel, and learn differently, without having to disguise themselves or struggle to fit in.
We seek to activate curiosity, connection, and enjoyment. We offer them challenging proposals from a cognitive perspective, but we also work on the emotional and social aspects, which are so important for these profiles. Awakened Minds was born as a response to all this: to provide a safe, nurturing, and stimulating environment where they can be themselves, unleash their potential, and feel part of something very special.
Honestly, these types of spaces are more than necessary, because not all children with high abilities find an environment at school that adapts to their needs. To connect with them, it is important that there is motivation and challenge. At Ments Despertes:
– They can explore their real interests and feel that what they are passionate about matters.
– Critical, creative, and divergent thinking is encouraged.
– The emotional aspect, which is so sensitive in many profiles of AACC, is taken care of.
– Connection with other children with whom they can identify is encouraged.
– Their social skills, self-esteem, and overall well-being are worked on.
I know that here they will find a space they will want to attend, a small refuge, with people with whom they will feel deep connections and where they will discover new things every day. All of this will help us keep, as I say, their flame of motivation high and active.
Located in Les Alqueries (Castellón), this space is aimed at children aged 5 to 10 years, where we work in small groups, with an active, creative, and deeply respectful methodology.
What type of experiences will you offer there and what specific needs are you looking to address with this proposal?
As I mentioned before, at Ments Despertes we offer experiences designed to stimulate thinking, creativity, and emotional connection, always with a deep respect for the individuality of each child. We work in three main areas:
- The cognitive: with proposals that awaken their curiosity and creative thinking —mental challenges, writing, exploration of uncommon topics, and micro-projects where they can investigate and create.
- The emotional: we accompany the internal world of each child, helping them to know themselves, express themselves, and regulate their emotions, through playful dynamics, mindfulness…
- The social: we promote a sense of belonging and the development of social skills through cooperative games, role-playing, and activities that reinforce empathy, listening, and teamwork.
And of course, we cannot forget about creativity. Everything is designed so they can be themselves, feel seen, secure, and stimulated, without the pressure to fit in or mask themselves. In extracurricular activities, it is difficult to find an expert in giftedness who can accompany them from this perspective, and I believe that this is the greatest value of this space.
You have created characters like Hira and Meki. How did they come about and what do they symbolize for you and for the children you work with?
Hira and Meki are much more than two characters: they are the symbolic representation of that complex and rich inner universe that exists in many children with giftedness. They were born as a way to give shape and voice to all that which is often difficult to express: their intensity, their passions, their sensitivity, their creativity…
For the little ones, Hira and Meki are like emotional mirrors with which they can identify, speaking to them in their own language, with tenderness and complicity. They represent the two sides of high ability: the one that shines and creates, and the one that sometimes gets tangled or overflows.
What started as a resource for the Awakened Minds project has become a valuable tool also on social networks: there are currently 15 different characters,in the form of downloadable postcards, accompanied by 15 play proposals to work with them at home or in the classroom. A bridge between the adult world and the children's world, between the internal and the shared.
In your experience, what do these children need to shine without having to fit into molds?
They need us to see them as they are.
That we do not ask them to dim themselves to be accepted.
That we understand their particular way of feeling, thinking, and being in the world. In a world that, let’s remember, is also theirs.
And they need time.
Time to grow without rush or pressure. With adults who know how to accompany them with presence, with knowledge about high abilities, and with flexibility.
And of course, they need a lot of love and a great deal of understanding.
When we understand that they are wonderful just as they are, that they are not broken or “too” anything… and that what they really need is respectful companionship, from that very special place from which they feel, think, and live with such intensity, everything begins to fall into place.
Everything gets a little better when we stop trying to fit them into molds and truly start to see them.
Because it's not about them fitting.
It's about them unfolding.
From your role as a communicator, what myths or misconceptions about giftedness and twice-exceptionality would you like to dismantle once and for all?
Honestly, one of the goals of the posts on my account of Instagram Hirameki AACC is precisely to dismantle so many myths that continue to be too present. Like the idea that children with giftedness "don't need help" or that "they will manage on their own."
That everything is easy for them.
Or that if they have any difficulty, then they can no longer be gifted.
None of this is true, and these beliefs often isolate them and prevent them from receiving the support they truly need.
I also believe it is urgent to break the idea that giftedness is just a number on a test or an IQ of 130. There are very heterogeneous profiles within gifted individuals, and not all fit into traditional school molds.
In fact, twice-exceptionality often penalizes assessments, because difficulties can overshadow potential, and vice versa. That's why a good clinical eye is so necessary when evaluating.
Gifted individuals do not guarantee academic success or emotional well-being. Nor should they be viewed from the pessimism of "I wish they were neurotypical," although I acknowledge that in tough moments this thought can quickly arise in many families.
And also beware of the myth of "how lucky, they will surely have everything easy."
They are who they are. And that's okay.
I always say that these children arrive in our lives for a reason, and often it is to help us re-recognize ourselves, to grow, to be better people.
And if we talk about double exceptionality, it seems urgent to lose the fear of words like autism. Sometimes it is denied, minimized, or viewed with prejudice, when in reality it is a legitimate and valuable way of being in the world. One that deserves to be understood, made visible, and accompanied with respect.
The assumption that autistic people have cognitive impairment still permeates popular literature, the media, and everyday conversations. And then there is the issue of "not being autistic enough," which could take a long time to discuss.
Let us not allow it to be said that a child (or an adult) is not autistic because they make eye contact, because they are verbal, because they have friends, or because they are empathetic. And please, let’s banish phrases like:
– "Is it AACC? Then it doesn't show."
– "Is it autistic? Then it doesn't seem like it."
What do we expect? That they wear a fluorescent sign on their forehead?
Ask families when the door closes at home if they notice that their children are neurodivergent. And listen to their answers.
Because behind every neurodivergent person there is a rich, complex, profoundly human reality. And if we only see the difficulties, we are missing out on everything else.
In fact, we could talk at length about the strengths of double exceptionality: attention to detail, great memory, intense passion for their interests, analytical ability, perfectionism, sincerity, sense of equity and justice… and much more.
Lastly, it is essential that educational environments are better trained in double exceptionality, because many times autism completely eclipses high ability. And then their potential is not addressed, the environment is not adapted, or even the child is required to compensate for their challenges solely with their intelligence, which is unfair and deeply exhausting. That is why a rigorous, informed, and compassionate assessment is so important.
Because the label, that which is sometimes criticized, is a gateway to necessary adaptations, to knowing strengths and challenges, and to being accompanied in a respectful manner.
And looking to the future... What do you dream of for this new space you are creating and for the community of families that accompanies you on this journey?
I dream of a space where children can express themselves freely, without having to ask for permission to be who they are. A place where self-confidence improves, where they feel part of something. A safe and stimulating refuge where they can unleash their potential, explore, connect, and also rest from this constant effort to fit in.
I dream of continuing to support families. Many I see arriving full of doubts, worries, or even guilt… and when they return and tell me that they now understand their little one better, that they communicate better, that everything flows more, that they reconnect… for me, this is a gift. It is a deep satisfaction because I know how important it is to feel that you are not alone and that yes, it is possible to be better. I work so that families do not have to apologize for supporting their children as they need, without having to justify themselves over and over again to those who do not understand what it means to raise from difference.
And I also dream of a beautiful community that continues to grow. That supports each other without judgment. That is sustained with tools, with knowledge, yes… but also with compassion, with understanding, with listening, with presence. And I dream that we can embrace each other in person throughout this year, because many families I only know through the screen for now.
And above all, I dream of contributing my part so that the world knows what high abilities, autism, and double exceptionality truly are and what they are not. As I always say, if with all this I help even one child or one family, it will have been worth it.
Thank you very much.
