The school year begins, and with it come new classrooms, new faces, expectations, and perhaps some fear: how to explain what your child carries inside but is not always visible. That they have dyslexia, that they are autistic, that they have ADHD. That conversation may seem difficult, but it is essential: for the school to understand, for adaptations to be established, so that your child does not start from scratch in misunderstandings. This article will accompany you, with evidence, examples, and strategies to make that dialogue with the teacher clear, empathetic, and transformative.
1. What happens in the brain and why certain difficulties are not visible
To start a conversation like this, it helps to understand what science tells us about what happens "inside."
- People with dyslexia show differences in the regions related to reading and writing processing, such as the angular gyrus, the middle/inferior temporal cortex, and the connectivity between visual and language areas. These differences are not "errors," but rather brain variations in how symbol processing occurs. And no, it cannot stop being so by magic.
- In autism, there are differences in the way sensory stimuli (sounds, lights, textures) are processed, emotional regulation, and implicit social expectations. Neurologically, it has been observed that certain cortical structures and neural connections activate differently, with greater sensitivity and less habituation.
- In ADHD, difficulties with sustained attention, impulse inhibition, temporal regulation (how we manage time), and working memory are related to lower activity or efficiency in certain executive networks of the brain (prefrontal cortex, basal ganglia) and greater variations in functional connectivity.
"Your child is not being lazy or uninterested: their brain works at a different rhythm, a different style, which is worth understanding with 'joy.'"
Studies like the one from the Institute of Education in the UK show that when cognitive differences are understood, self-confidence and performance improve (for example, in learning difficulties).
2. How to prepare the conversation with the teacher
This part is key: plan what you are going to say, how to say it, and what to ask. Here are some ideas:
- Choose the right moment: a calm meeting, without rush, at the beginning of the school year if possible.
- Bring something in writing: a letter or "profile of my child" where you outline strengths, what is more difficult for them, what helps them, strategies that already work at home.
- Explain what you see (specific behaviors), without judgments: for example, "I notice that when reading, they struggle to continue without losing track of what they have read," or "they get overwhelmed when there are many simultaneous noises" and what I call "the instructions," for example, in my daughter, I see very clearly that when she does a certain stereotype, she is getting nervous; if I explain this to her teacher, and he realizes, he can anticipate and suggest going to get something from the teachers' room to take her out of the classroom and help her calm down on the way, or try to redirect the situation before she becomes completely dysregulated.
- Ask, not just inform: "How is it usually done in class X?", "What adaptations could help?", "What expectations do you have regarding tasks or timings?"
- Be humble, but firm: your experience as a parent provides unique knowledge of what your child experiences, even if they do not face the same challenges as other children.
"When you explain from what you already know about your child, you are not asking for the impossible; you are asking for understanding."
Child Mind Institute recommends "About Me Letters" as an effective tool to share with the teacher the strengths, challenges, and accommodations of the student.
3. What to ask regarding adaptations
Once the teacher understands, it is advisable to specify what adjustments can make a difference. When asking for them, remember that it is not just to improve the school for your child, but so they can learn without emotional wear and tear:
- Visual supports and clear structuring: pictograms, visible schedules, visual agendas. And, you might be surprised, at the start-of-year meeting for my little child, I loved seeing that they used pictograms regularly in the classroom; moreover, we agreed that I would draw some extra ones to improve the understanding of the “rules of coexistence.” When teachers see that you want to contribute, they appreciate it too.
- Flexibility of time: more time for reading or writing tasks, brief breaks if feeling overwhelmed, allowing movement if needed.
- Sensory modifications: reduce noise, avoid echo effects in classrooms, appropriate lighting, possibility of headphones or quieter areas.
- Adjustments in evaluation: allow or value “oral presentations,” extra time, alternative formats (oral, visual, project, etc.).
- Constant communication: establish a regular contact channel between home and school (messages, virtual agenda, meetings), to adjust what works and what doesn’t.
“When asking for adaptations, you are not criticizing the teacher: you are claiming what is fair so that your little one can express what they have inside.”
According to the LEANS program from the UK (Schools teaching neurodiversity), when adaptations are visible and consistent, they improve both teacher attitude and student performance.
4. How to emotionally support your little one when explaining
This step is often forgotten, but it is as important as the practical one:
- Talk to the child about what the teacher is going to say, prepare the story together simply, with respect.
- Validate what they feel: “I understand that this scares you, it may seem strange, but I’m telling you this because I want to help you feel better in class.”
- Rehearse the dialogue if you want (play acting as if one is the teacher) so it’s not a surprise.
- Celebrate the small achievements afterwards: that the teacher agreed to listen, that they try an adaptation, that something works. Every step matters.
“Explaining is not a report; it is building a bridge with love and listening.”
Explaining that your little one is dyslexic, autistic or has ADHD is not asking for special treatment: it is claiming that the environment recognizes their way of being. That initial conversation can open doors to a more dignified, less exhausting, and more humane schooling.
Imagine a school where the teacher knows what your little one needs without you having to insist, where supports exist, where the classroom is a space for listening. That school is not idealism: many are already making it possible. But moms and dads must help them achieve it. Are you in?
You can tell us in the comments what your experience is. We are reading you.
Verònica Martín