It's not about teaching to eat. It's about learning to support.
There are books that are not born in a publishing house. They are born in the kitchen. At the table. In the tears of a mother, mine… and perhaps yours. In the fixed gaze of a child who cannot, who does not want to, who does not know how to do it.
"Belly calling to head, are you there for me?" this is that book.
I published it last year together with Patricia Esteban, a nutritionist specialized in autism, from two places: experience and love.
The experience of being a parent of neurodivergent children with challenges in feeding. And of having been that child who also did not want to eat.
And the love to understand them. To respect their bodies. To stop forcing what does not arise, and start supporting what is possible.
Eating differently is not a behavioral problem
This point is key. And I repeat it in all my talks, trainings, and consultations:
It is not your fault if your child does not eat.
You are not cooking poorly. You are not lacking patience. You are not failing as a mother or father.
The feeding neurodivergent is not a parenting problem.
It is a matter neurological. Of how the brain interprets and responds to internal stimuli (like hunger) or external stimuli (like the texture of food or the noise of the dining room).
Some people do not feel hunger as “a hole in the stomach.”
Others cannot tolerate food touching.
Others need to eat by colors, by temperature, by texture… or not eat at all when there is too much noise.
This is not “bad manners”. It is not disinterest. It is brain. And it can be supported.
My story: between cold plates and the word “inanition”
I was also that girl.
The one who spent hours in front of the plate.
My mother cried at the pediatrician. They told me that if I continued like this I would die of inanition (a word I learned before “hunger”).
They sat me at the table at noon… and sometimes the food would merge with dinner. And I know my mother did it out of love… but from love accompanied by desperation, and that is not a good place to support a little one.
I promised myself that my children would not live the same.
But the path has not been easy.
My children: two bodies, two languages
At home, everyone eats as they can. And that's okay.
🥄 My child needs everything to be separated. Each food in its place. Nothing touches. Textures do not mix. Always in the same chair, the same structure.
🥄 My daughter does not feel hunger. Her body does not alert her. If no one accompanies her, she can go hours without eating and also needs continuous movement; she is unable to sit for 30 minutes eating without getting up.
Is there a magic solution? It does not exist.
Are there real, lived, and possible strategies? Yes. And that’s what this book is about.
What we have learned (and what you can also try)
Through trial, error, intuition, and a lot of patience, we found ways to accompany without forcing. Here are some keys we share in the book:
- Eat on schedule, not by hunger, if the body does not send that signal.
- Create a predictable, sensory-safe environment (warm light, no strong smells, no intrusive noises).
- Associate food with pleasant moments: stories, soft music, calming rituals.
- Accept that eating “strange” is not eating badly.
- Celebrate small advances. Respect setbacks.
And, above all, remove the pressure. Trust, let go, and never stop accompanying.
If the body feels safe, the limbic system stores that moment as pleasant. And so, little by little, the bond with food is repaired.
The environment also nourishes
After the book, I started giving talks about how to design dining areas that care.
Because I am a mother, I am a neurodivergent person, and I am also an interior designer specialized in adapting spaces for neurodivergent individuals.
I have worked with associations such as Autisme Nakama, New Life, Fem Camí… and I always repeat the same thing:
A table can be a place of calm… or a source of stress.
Light, color, noise, smells… all of this influences.
It's not just about the “what” is eaten. It's how that moment is experienced.
This book is for you if...
- Your child does not eat and you don't know why.
- You yourself grew up with difficulties in feeding.
- You feel guilt every time food becomes a fight.
- You want to accompany from respect, not from struggle.
- You seek real, concrete tools with soul.
“Belly calling to no one, do you hear me?”
It is much more than a book. It is a bridge. An outstretched hand. A voice that says: “you are not alone.”
You can achieve it here:
Buy the book at Erbre Llibres
By purchasing through Erbre Llibres, you also support an autistic family that has created this platform with all the love in the world.
Do you want us to talk about this at your school, center, association, or space?
Leave me a comment or write to me. I am here to support you.
Verònica Martín
Co-Founder of ATIPICOS.org
Director of A-tipic Biointeriors