Christmas holidays have something special.
They disrupt time.
They ease the demands.
They relax the body.
And then, suddenly, the alarm clock rings.
The body, which was still in another rhythm, doesn’t understand anything.
The nervous system needs a few more seconds…
but the world has already started.
Returning to school —and also returning to work— is not just logistics.
It’s not just schedules, backpacks, or pending emails.
It is an emotional, sensory, and bodily transition.
And transitions, if not supported, can hurt.
The return does not start on the first day of class.
One of the most common mistakes is thinking that the return starts when the bell rings.
In reality, it starts earlier.
In the body.
In the nervous system.
After days (or weeks) with:
- more flexibility,
- less structure,
- more social stimuli,
- constant changes,
the organism needs time to readjust.
When it doesn't have it, signs may appear such as:
- irritability,
- extreme fatigue,
- easy crying,
- regressions,
- stomach or head pains.
It is not laziness.
It is not a bad attitude.
It is adaptation.
“Transitions require energy, even when they are towards something familiar.”
— Developmental Psychology
What can happen when returning to school (and why)
For many children —especially neurodivergent— returning can be experienced like this:
A child who takes longer to get dressed.
A child who cries without knowing why.
A “I don’t want to go” that is not rejection… it is overwhelm.
There may be:
- more sensitivity to noise,
- rejection of clothing or the backpack,
- difficulty sleeping,
- need for more control or rigidity.
None of this means that “something is wrong.”
It means that the nervous system is recalibrating.
“Behavior is always a form of communication.”
— Neuroaffirmative approach
How to prepare for the return to school with care
It is not about doing it perfectly.
It is about accompanying.
1. Gradually recover routines
If possible, adjust schedules a few days in advance:
- sleep,
- meals,
- screen time.
Not as a punishment, but as a bridge.
2. Anticipate without alarming
Talk about the return naturally:
- what day it will be,
- what will happen,
- what remains the same.
Predictability calms.
3. Validate emotions (all)
Phrases that help:
- “It makes sense that you're struggling.”
- “It's normal to feel this way.”
- “It's okay to miss the holidays.”
Avoid:
- "It's not for that reason."
- "Others can."
- "It will pass."
- "You always make everything so difficult..." (by the way, this was said to me)
4. Adjust expectations
The first week is not for demanding performance.
It's for being back.
Fewer tasks.
More understanding.
More margin.
"Validating is not agreeing, it's recognizing the emotion."
— Emotional psychology
Accompanying without minimizing or dramatizing
Accompanying is not pushing.
It's not convincing.
It's not forcing.
Accompanying is:
- observing,
- listening,
- supporting.
There will be calm turns.
And there will be uphill turns.
Both are valid.
"Emotional support reduces stress more than any technique."
— Attachment Psychology
Returning to work also matters (even if we are adults)
Here is something important:
adults also have a nervous system.
Returning to work after Christmas can bring:
- anxiety,
- apathy,
- difficulty concentrating,
- feeling overwhelmed.
A full schedule on the first day.
An email arriving too early.
And an internal feeling that says: not yet.
It’s not a lack of professionalism.
It’s body.
How to support you in your own return
1. Don’t plan as if nothing has happened
Start lighter.
Prioritize.
Leave gaps.
2. Lower stimuli when you can’t lower demands
If work cannot be reduced, reduce:
- noise,
- unnecessary reunions,
- multitasking.
3. Name what you feel
Even if it's just for you:
“This is hard for me.”
Naming regulates.
4. Don't compare yourself
Every body returns at its own pace.
Yours is valid too.
“Self-regulation begins when we stop demanding the impossible from ourselves.”
— Stephen Porges
Returning is not failing
If returning feels uphill, you are not failing.
You are transitioning.
And transitions are not crossed by pushing, but by accompanying.
To your daughters and sons.
To your team.
And to yourself.
To close (and start anew)
Returning to school and work doesn't have to be perfect.
It has to be human.
With better and worse days.
With adjustments.
With listening.
Returning is not giving up as before.
Returning is returning to inhabit oneself.
At ATIPICOS.org we believe that caring for transitions is caring for the mental, emotional, and sensory health of the whole family.
If this article resonated with you, share it.
And if you need more resources to accompany these stages, we are here.
Little by little.
With care.
Together.
Verònica Martín
Co-Founder of ATÍPICOS.org
Person neurodivergent, mother and companion of real processes